"Lux arumque"--Eric Whitacre

my teachers. my teachers that have taught me information that is invaluable. i have been so blessed to have them in my life. they have been lights in my life. specifically my music teachers. they have taught me a gift that cannot be replaced by anything...they have taught me music. everyday we hear music. we hear music on the radio in the car, in the footsteps of people passing on the sidewalk, in the singing of birds at early hours. it is the music teachers, the teachers of this wonderful gift that give us the fierce ability to appreciate all of this--to take out of life the little things, to take the music of life and place it into all aspects of the way we live.

thank you for teaching me music. i am forever grateful to have had these teachers, to have received such a gift. i cannot wait to teach music to others--to teach them all of music's everlasting emotions that power over the fragile human soul...that music that brings joy, sorrow, and healing. one of few things that brings people of all walks of life together.

"Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness."--Maya Angelou

music is my refuge and my life is a soundtrack.

may you find your peace in music. :)

Eric Whitacre conducting "Ghost Train" at the Lied Center

"My Funny Valentine"--from the musical Babes in Arms

i have to say that i quite enjoyed being halfway bitter and halfway happy on valentine's day this year. it was a good one...one of the best i've had in quite some time. i had some great friends over for dessert night on valentine's evening and we proceeded to eat ourselves into a sugary coma and play games all night.

last night i went out with two old friends for single ladies night and we went to two of my favorite hang outs downtown...hung out...had a couple drinks...ran into friends...then we came back to my place and watched Hairspray...yet another great evening with great friends.

and today was 110 years of KU basketball--we won. tonight i'm going to go see the great composer of our time eric whitacre. this weekend kicks ass...and it's only saturday. :)

life is good. it's too short to live unhappily so i'm making the most of living it up.

have a fab weekend! :)

"Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind." --Henri-Frederic Amiel

"Danny Manning"--after winning the 1988 national championship

Once upon a time
in a land far away,
a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess
happened upon a frog as she sat
contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap
and said: ' Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.

One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am
and then, my sweet, we can marry
and set up housekeeping in your castle
with my mother,
where you can prepare my meals,
clean my clothes, bear my children,
and forever feel
grateful and happy doing so. '

That night,
as the princess dined sumptuously
on lightly sautéed frog legs
seasoned in a white wine
and onion cream sauce,
she chuckled and thought to herself:

I don't freakin think so.

"My Rollercoaster"--Kimya Dawson

i'm finding lately that in order to keep my rollercoaster going in the upward/steady direction that i'm needing to exercise. it gets rid of all of my frustrations. i literally sweat them out and it's great. don't get me wrong, i'm not becoming one of those psycho exercisers, but i feel much better afterwards. it's a good break in my day. i get to go to the gym where everyone is simply there for themselves. everyone leaves everyone else alone and we all do our own thing. it's great. very relaxing.

i'm getting into yoga too. that's probably one of the things i enjoy most. breathing it out. it's a good thing. pushing myself to focus my mind on my breath and allowing all my self inflicted stress to melt away in the stretch. everyone should do yoga. we'd all be a lot less stressed i think. :)

life is going well. i'm making a turn in my life. i'm doing more, experiencing more and trying to hang out with friends more. it's great. this is what life is supposed to be like for a college girl. i wish i had seen it sooner, but you can wish in one hand and spit in the other and see which one fills up first. but it's still nice to wish. wishing and hoping is good for the soul. it's part of what keeps the world going.

namaste. (my inner wisdom to your inner wisdom)

"symbol for namaste"

"In Repair"--John Mayer

...saw this on "The View"...

General Colin Powell's Rules to Live By

1. It ain't as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning.

2. Get mad, then get over it.

3. Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it.

4. It can be done!

5. Be careful what you choose. You may get it.

6. Don't let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision.

7. You can't make someone else's choices. You shouldn't let someone else make yours.

8. Check small things.

9. Share credit.

10. Remain calm. Be kind.

11. Have a vision.

12. Don't take counsel of your fears or naysayers.

13. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.

"Pure"

"Shoot the Moon"--Norah Jones

Sometimes I feel like I'm looking at myself from the outside--like I'm not actually me, but wondering who "me" is. Some days I know, I'm solid about who I am, who Amanda is. Some days I'm that person on the outside trying so hard to see in.

I feel like I've missed so much. Sometimes I feel so alone. I spent most of the past 2 years listening to someone else, holding myself back from opportunities. It's when I finally stopped listening and started doing that it hit me what I'd been missing out on. I regret that time lost. But regretting is a waste of time isn't it? I have to move forward. I have to let go of the past and what I lost in my college experience and do it now. Experience, live, meet new people, do new things. I need to say "Yes!" and start making up for all of the nos the past few years. Too many nos. Too many missed opportunities.

I wish I would have seen it sooner. I wish my heart and my mind would have worked together.

But it's a new year and a fresh(ish) start. I'm going to take it. This semester will be one for the books. Quit feeling sorry for myself and my mistakes and get out there and do something about it. :)

A part of me is grateful though. I've come to realize how lucky I am to have people in my life that stick by me no matter what, that still want to stay in touch no matter how many times I turned them down in the past, let them down in the past.

I'm done letting others down and most of all I'm done letting myself down. Time to find myself.

"Small Town Harbour"--Ireland

"Walk on the Ocean"--Toad the Wet Sprocket

...some raw poetry brought about by my recent visit to the beach...

Ocean waves hug the shore

pulling away,

giving back.

The water left behind shimmers on the sand

before melting away into the beach.

Footprints line the shores

people, birds, and dogs

telling of travels had and yet to be.

The soft crashing of the waves fills my ears

peaceful solace,

a void that no other sound can fill.

Breathing in, breathing out

the fresh sea air.

I could lay here all day

soaking up the rays of the warm sun into my skin.

Each moment a precious treasure,

the seashells jewels,

diamonds encrusting the shore.

I will leave here

but my mind is staid by the words of the sea.

--Amanda 01/08

"suntanned toes"