"My Rollercoaster"--Kimya Dawson

i'm finding lately that in order to keep my rollercoaster going in the upward/steady direction that i'm needing to exercise. it gets rid of all of my frustrations. i literally sweat them out and it's great. don't get me wrong, i'm not becoming one of those psycho exercisers, but i feel much better afterwards. it's a good break in my day. i get to go to the gym where everyone is simply there for themselves. everyone leaves everyone else alone and we all do our own thing. it's great. very relaxing.

i'm getting into yoga too. that's probably one of the things i enjoy most. breathing it out. it's a good thing. pushing myself to focus my mind on my breath and allowing all my self inflicted stress to melt away in the stretch. everyone should do yoga. we'd all be a lot less stressed i think. :)

life is going well. i'm making a turn in my life. i'm doing more, experiencing more and trying to hang out with friends more. it's great. this is what life is supposed to be like for a college girl. i wish i had seen it sooner, but you can wish in one hand and spit in the other and see which one fills up first. but it's still nice to wish. wishing and hoping is good for the soul. it's part of what keeps the world going.

namaste. (my inner wisdom to your inner wisdom)

"symbol for namaste"

"In Repair"--John Mayer

...saw this on "The View"...

General Colin Powell's Rules to Live By

1. It ain't as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning.

2. Get mad, then get over it.

3. Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it.

4. It can be done!

5. Be careful what you choose. You may get it.

6. Don't let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision.

7. You can't make someone else's choices. You shouldn't let someone else make yours.

8. Check small things.

9. Share credit.

10. Remain calm. Be kind.

11. Have a vision.

12. Don't take counsel of your fears or naysayers.

13. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.

"Pure"

"Shoot the Moon"--Norah Jones

Sometimes I feel like I'm looking at myself from the outside--like I'm not actually me, but wondering who "me" is. Some days I know, I'm solid about who I am, who Amanda is. Some days I'm that person on the outside trying so hard to see in.

I feel like I've missed so much. Sometimes I feel so alone. I spent most of the past 2 years listening to someone else, holding myself back from opportunities. It's when I finally stopped listening and started doing that it hit me what I'd been missing out on. I regret that time lost. But regretting is a waste of time isn't it? I have to move forward. I have to let go of the past and what I lost in my college experience and do it now. Experience, live, meet new people, do new things. I need to say "Yes!" and start making up for all of the nos the past few years. Too many nos. Too many missed opportunities.

I wish I would have seen it sooner. I wish my heart and my mind would have worked together.

But it's a new year and a fresh(ish) start. I'm going to take it. This semester will be one for the books. Quit feeling sorry for myself and my mistakes and get out there and do something about it. :)

A part of me is grateful though. I've come to realize how lucky I am to have people in my life that stick by me no matter what, that still want to stay in touch no matter how many times I turned them down in the past, let them down in the past.

I'm done letting others down and most of all I'm done letting myself down. Time to find myself.

"Small Town Harbour"--Ireland

"Walk on the Ocean"--Toad the Wet Sprocket

...some raw poetry brought about by my recent visit to the beach...

Ocean waves hug the shore

pulling away,

giving back.

The water left behind shimmers on the sand

before melting away into the beach.

Footprints line the shores

people, birds, and dogs

telling of travels had and yet to be.

The soft crashing of the waves fills my ears

peaceful solace,

a void that no other sound can fill.

Breathing in, breathing out

the fresh sea air.

I could lay here all day

soaking up the rays of the warm sun into my skin.

Each moment a precious treasure,

the seashells jewels,

diamonds encrusting the shore.

I will leave here

but my mind is staid by the words of the sea.

--Amanda 01/08

"suntanned toes"

"The Best is Yet to Come"--Tony Bennett

Happy New Year everyone! :) May 2008 bring you much joy, happiness, and satisfaction. Live like you mean it. No regrets.

P.S. Watched Breakfast at Tiffany's for the first time. I think I have a new favorite. :)

"breakfast at tiffany's"

"A Day in the Life"--The Beatles

My New Year's Resolutions (8 for '08)--for the world to see:

1. Eat healthier.

2. Exercise at least 3x per week.

3. Save $$$, don't spend (as much) $$$.

4. Go to Yoga more often.

5. Learn something new.

6. Start a scrapbook and a photography portfolio.

7. Write in a journal.

8. ENJOY LIFE!!!

i will also be labeling each of my blog entries with a song that i think fits with the topic. :)

"new beginnings"

"Learning to Breathe"--Switchfoot

I've decided to take better care of myself. Mentally, physically, emotionally--I've been injuring myself on all of those levels. (I could start by going to bed earlier instead of writing, but I'll just let that one slide...)


When I started anew over the summer I promised to allow myself to be happy and not to depend on others for my happiness, for I am the only one that can make me happy. I can decide to be or not to be and dammit, I've spent too much time in my life being unhappy. I'm done. I know that life has its ups and downs, but I'm going to go out in the world and create some ups for myself. I quit my job. That was step one. Here we go. Get a new job and start a new independent woman lifestyle. This is what I need. I need to be with myself for awhile. Live my life...nothing holding me back...just be myself.

Tomorrow is a new day and tomorrow night I get to spend time with the girls that I've been friends with for 15 years. Life is a beautiful thing and I don't intend to waste it.




"my oldest friend"